I tried, I really did. Once we were far away in different schools, I wanted her out of my life forever. It took several years until I was satisfied with my success. I was finally able to think of her without my blood boiling, and I rarely even thought of her at all. There was simply no reason to.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, someone came up to me and said, "You went to the same school as Her, right? Well, She just got married!" To which I said, of course, "Wow! Mazal tov!" while thinking, in fact, "Boy, I wonder what he could have done to deserve her!"
I thought I'd forgiven her.
I guess I was wrong.
Won't I ever be able to do anything right?
3 comments:
Ever heard of the idea that when we get to Heaven, they'll judge us as we judged others?
Not saying it's easy, but it helps to keep that in mind..
Besurot tovot.
:)
the shela'h says that its impossible for everyone to like everyone else.
i know this sounds horrible, but there was a man in my community who embarrassed me in public a few years ago. I was terribly upset about it, and he never asked forgiveness and when I tried speaking to him about it privately he remained steadfast that I deserved it. So when he got cancer and died a few months later, I didn't even feel bad for the family. I felt he was (is) a horrible human being, who 3 years later have not forgiven
i just found your blog, and am almost in tears... you write really well and the pain you've kept inside for so long is very well expressed...
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